24
by Tahra
Summary: Josie’s dying. How does the science club react? Set 6 or 7 years after Conclusions.
1. Prologue: Josie

Disclaimer: BHH does not belong to me. Wish it did, coz then I could have my wicked way with a certain Professor, but it doesn't, so there you go. 24 by Jem doesn't belong to me either, I would kill to be able to write songs like her… Okay, maybe not kill… Maim!

Spoilers: All and none… Make any sense? I didn't think so. :D

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Prologue - Josie

Josie sat on the couch, holding the piece of paper in her hands as if she would a delicate butterfly. A small tremor ran through her body, her hands shaking just slightly. Her face was pale, and carried just the faintest hints of pain and fear.

Her mom laid a hand on her knee, and looked at her with a concerned look. "What's wrong honey?" she asked quietly.

Without saying a word, Josie handed the letter to her mom, who took it with another worried look, before looking down to read the contents. Josie's chin trembled slightly, but no sound escaped her bloodless lips.

'_Dear Miss Trent._

_I regret to inform you that the tumor we found was indeed malignant and has progressed considerably. Regrettably there is no treatment that we can offer you at this time. The tumor has spread, and you have only 6 months at best._

_Please consult your nearest hospital in regards to your next move. A list of excellent neurosurgeons has been provided on the next page. They'll be able to help insofar as pain medication, and help with hospice care if that's what you should decide._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Dr. T Warner.'_

The letter fluttered to the floor as Kelly gathered Josie into her arms. Tears ran down Kelly's cheeks, but her daughter remained unmoving, unseeing, unhearing.

Thoughts ran through Josie's mind at a million miles an hour, but she was unable to process anything except the thought that she was going to die. Her mom pulled away from her, but she barely felt the movement, nothing was penetrating her mind.

"Josie," Kelly said tenderly, stroking Josie's hair with one hand, her other wrapped around her daughters waist. "We're going to get through this. We're going to beat this. We'll do everything we can, go anywhere we can to get you treatment. I promise you, we'll do this, together."

Josie's heart pounded in her chest, and she felt the urge to run. To just run and forget about everything, run until she couldn't move, couldn't breath. She stood up, the envelope falling from her lap to the floor and started to head for the door, brushing her mothers hand off of her arm. But she didn't make it further than the coffee table before her feet wouldn't move anymore.

Her mom continued to murmur words of encouragement and advice, but Josie just stood stock still in shock, retaining nothing of what was being said to her except for the occasional word here and there.

Eventually, unable to keep still any longer, she paced the floor, while her mother continued to talk, continued to make plans. But Josie blocked it all out, refused to listen to what her mother was saying. Her mind was on overload and she wasn't sure how much she could take before her brain exploded.

"And we'll throw you a party, all your friends can be there," her mom babbled. "We'll have food, and dancing, and we can just have some fun, before we let them all know what's going on."

Josie stopped in front of her mom; something had finally penetrated the wall that had sprung up as she got lost in her own musings. "No mom… We're not going to tell anyone… I don't want looks of pity, I just want to live my last six months like a regular person. You read what the letter said; there's no treatment. I just want to be normal," she cried out.

Kelly stood up and pulled her daughter into a hug. Against her natural instinct, Josie didn't push her mother away. Instead she leaned in, embracing her mother. And the tears started. They stood together for a while, time passed without either of them recognizing it, before they finally pulled apart.

"Are you sure you don't want anyone to know, sweetie?" Kelly queried, trying to ignore the look of emotional pain on her daughters face. "Isn't it better that your friends know?"

Josie shook her head, and wiped the tears away. "No… I don't want the looks of pity… I don't want them to see me in a bad state. I want my friends to remember me as I was before all this happened."

Kelly nodded sympathetically, but worriedly. She knew her daughter would need her friends now more than ever, and tried to convince her of this fact. "But honey, they'll be there for you, to help you."

Josie shook her head again emphatically. "I don't want them to know mom. I'm sorry, please… It'll be easier this way," she sighed, and started to chew on her bottom lip. "Look… I need some time alone, okay?"

"Okay sweetie. But remember, I'm here if you need to talk about this."

Her mom retreated from the room, and Josie sat down on the couch again. She could just imagine the pained look on her friends faces when they finally found out the truth. Z, Corrine, Marshall, Lucas… And Vaughn. She couldn't face them, couldn't bring this to them.

The pain that she felt now would be nothing compared to the pain she'd feel telling them. And all she wanted was for the pain to leave her, to be numb and not feel anything. No, she decided, better to hide it from everyone and just act like she was normal.

She could see her life flashing before her eyes, 24 years of her life. It was true what they said; when you find out you're going to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes, you see everything you've done, and everything you wish you could do.

Logically she knew she had six months in which to do as much as she could, but at that moment it felt like she only had one day.

_Been given 24 hours to tie up lose ends to make amends_

_His eyes said it all I started to fall and the silence beckons_

_Head spinning round no time to sit down just wanted to run and run and run_

_Be careful they say don't wish life away now I've one day_

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A/N – I know that xXbittersweetxtearsXx used the whole Brain tumor/dying thing with Corrine in 'Losing You', and I promise I didn't steal it off of her. A friend of mine is actually dying from an inoperable brain tumor, and this is sort of my way of dealing with it. And I also know that she would never have been informed by letter, but this is my story, and it made for good writing! So nya nya nya nya nya!


	2. Chapter 1: Lucas

Chapter One - Lucas

The sound of the doorbell ringing pulled Lucas out of sleep. His eyes opened slowly, the room around him was defocused, misty. Reaching out from beneath the covers, he snagged his glasses off the bedside table, and put them on. Everything came into clear sharp focus.

The weight of an arm lay heavy on his chest. Carefully he removed the arm off of him, and placed it on the bed. The body that it was attached to rolled over with a slight grumble. Lucas smiled fondly, before slowly detracting himself from under the covers.

He padded down the hallway, and was half way down the stairs when the bell rang again.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" he grumbled under his breath.

Scratching his head, and trying not to yawn, he opened the door. A delivery man was standing there, a package in his hand.

He looked down at the name on the package, before looking back up at Lucas. "Lucas Randall?"

Lucas nodded, and took the pen that was offered to him. He scrawled his name on the paper attached to the clipboard, and took the package. Muttering under his breath about annoying deliveries at ungodly hours of the morning, he pushed the door closed with his foot.

He made his way in to the kitchen, and chucked the package on the island in the middle of the room, before putting the kettle on for a coffee. Taking a knife, he carefully slit the package open. Out fell a CD, along with two envelopes.

On the CD was a note, _'please listen to this while reading the letter'_. Writing was scrawled on one of the envelopes _'Read this first'_, while the writing on the second envelope was printed carefully, _'Please read this second'._

The kettle turned itself off, and he stood up to make himself his morning coffee. He put the CD in to the CD player located on the kitchen counter, and pressed play before he sat back down at the island with his coffee to read the letters.

The soft strains of a Jem song came floating through the speakers, before the bass kicked in.

Lucas slit the first envelope open and opened the letter. Familiar writing jumped out at him, Josie's scrawled handwriting. He grinned, 'she hasn't changed much', he thought to himself. Taking a sip of his coffee, he pushed his glassed up the bridge of his nose; a reflex action, before starting to read.

'_Dear Lucas, by the time you get this, it'll be too late for you to do anything. Which is why I had this sent out to you now._

_Six months ago, I discovered that I had a tumor, malignant. There was nothing the doctors could do to treat it… I was given six months to live. I wrote this letter to you, on the condition that it only be sent after I was gone. I'm sorry… I know it's selfish, but I didn't want to drag you guys into my mess, in to my pain. And I wanted you to remember me how I was, not how I am now that the end is coming. _

_It's why I've been slowly pushing you guys away. I know it's confused you, maybe caused you pain… But I didn't want you guys to suffer. Please don't hate me for this Lucas… Your approval means more to me than you'll ever know._

_I suppose in a way, this letter is a cleansing for me… Getting everything off my chest before I go. I'm not scared you know. Okay, that's a lie. I am a little. But I just wanted to take the opportunity, while I'm stuck here in bed, to tell you that you've been a great friend to me over the years. And that I do care you for you Lucas. You've been one of the best friends I've had for years._

_Which is saying a lot, considering before I started going to Blake Holsey, I refused to let anyone close to me. What I'm trying to say is that your friendship has meant a lot to me. _

_Thanks for being there for me, for doing everything that you did. You're an amazing person Lucas, brave and smart. And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Just promise me one thing… Live your life to the fullest Lucas, make the most of every moment. I love you, goodbye._

_Josie.'_

Lucas laid the letter down on the counter, and took another sip of his coffee. The shock hit him like a ton of bricks. One of his best friends had been wasting away for the last six months, and he hadn't noticed anything was wrong. And now she was gone. Pensively he started to think back over the years that he'd known Josie…

The first time they'd met, their many conversations and debates, his crush on her. The way she smelled, smiled, laughed, rode her skateboard. Her sarcasm and wit. The way she could blatantly ignore the rules just so she could get to the truth.

The memories came flooding back, every little detail of their school days was magnified before him. The pain he'd felt when he realized Josie would never feel that way about him. Not the way he'd felt for her anyway. All the time's they'd gotten in to trouble because of the wormhole came to him. Everything they'd done together, the good times, the bad times, it was all there. Their day's after graduation, before they all went their separate ways. The many meetings they'd had since then.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his silent reverie. He jumped slightly, before turning around to face his fiancée, Mary.

"Morning," he said, his voice slightly choked, as he held back the tears.

"Are you all right?" she asked him, her concern for him written all over her face.

He sighed and looked down at the piece of paper, before turning back to her. "You remember Josie?" he asked.

Mary nodded. "Sure, the short redhead, with the quick temper. You went to school with her, didn't you?"

He nodded in reply, before gesturing to the letter. "Well…" he throat clogged up. He swallowed the growing lump. "I just found that she… she's dead."

Mary's hand flew to her mouth, before she quickly hugged him. "Oh my gosh… How? How did it happen?"

"She had a… A tumor. She was given six months to live." He slammed his hand down on the counter. "Dammit… She didn't even tell me, she let me know in a letter, after she'd died."

His anger at Josie rose quickly, but also died quickly, as he felt the tears begin to well in his eyes. "She's gone." He wiped a hand over his face wearily. It was only 9am, but already it had been an emotional morning.

The phone rang, and Mary picked it up quickly, rubbing Lucas's back with the palm of her hand in soothing circles.

"Hello? Sure, I'll just get him for you."

The CD player turned itself off as the song ended and at the same time, Mary handed the phone to him.

A familiar voice greeted him on the other end. "Hey, Marshall." Suddenly Lucas felt distanced from the situation, he felt like his voice had been automatically programmed, and it didn't feel like he was talking. It was like his emotions had suddenly been cut off from him, he was numb.

He could hear someone crying softly on the other end. "Yea… I heard. I got a letter from her this morning," he replied to Marshall's query. "How's Corrine doing?" Corrine's sobs grew slightly louder, as if she was closer to the phone now.

Even though he could hear Marshall's reply, it felt like it was being said from a great distance away. Thoughts were flying through his head, everything was jumbled. It felt like the world had been turned upside down and shaken around.

"To be expected I suppose. Do you know…" he choked up again, trying to find words. "Do you know when she… when it happened?"

Marshall's reply was softly spoken, as if saying it outloud would make it all true.

"Two day's ago," Lucas repeated… "Two day's ago. I can't believe this. It doesn't seem real, you know?"

Mary laid her hand softly on his shoulder, a silent reminder that she was there for him through thick and thin. He reached over and held her hand.

"When's the funeral going to be?"

At Marshall's reply Lucas let go of Mary's hand and picked up the second envelope. He ripped it open and read the note that was inside.

A photo of Josie smiling looked up at him, and he felt the first sharp pangs of grief hit him, right in the stomach. He felt like he'd been physically hit.

'_Come celebrate the life of Josie Trent'_ was written above the photo of Josie.

The date, time and place of the funeral was listed beneath the photo, along with her birth and death dates.

"Sorry, what was that?" Lucas asked. He'd failed to catch what Marshall had asked him due to staring at the photo. "Yea… I'll be there. Say hi to me for Corrine, okay?"

After a couple moments of idle chatter, Lucas hung up the phone. He turned to Mary. "I just… I can't believe this is happening, it doesn't seem real. I guess, I'd better call work and let them know I won't be in. And I have to call Z."

A million thoughts ran through Lucas's head as he realized there was a lot he was going to have to do before the funeral. But one thought got stuck in front; his last visit with Josie.

_4 months earlier_

"Shit!" Lucas exclaimed, looking at his watch. He was late, and Josie was going to kill him. She hated people being late; it was one of her biggest pet peeves. She had no problems with being late herself, but for other people to be was just plain inconsiderate in her eyes.

Seeing a bus pulling up, he quickly stood up and grabbed his bus pass. Jumping on, he flashed the card at the driver and wandered down the aisle, trying to find a spare seat on the full bus.

Unable to find one, he grabbed a strap hanging down from the ceiling and urged the bus to go as fast as it could. For once, luck seemed to be on his side, because the bus made only a couple stops before his. Jumping down, he called out a quick thanks and raced down the street.

He skidded in to the coffee shop, and looked around, trying to find her in the busy café. Finally he spotted a flash of red hair, and made his way over to her.

"Hi," he said as he pulled out the chair across from her and plopped down in it. "Sorry I'm late, bus…" he trailed off.

She grinned at him, no sign of anger on her face, and returned the greeting. Before he could say anything else, a waitress appeared at his side, to take his order. He quickly ordered before turning back to Josie.

She was turned away from him, smiling up at the waitress as she casually placed her order. She turned back to face him, and casually picked up his hand.

"How are you?" she asked him simply.

He rolled his eyes, and puffed a stray piece of hair out of his eye. "Exhausted. Work is so busy at the moment. You just wouldn't even believe it."

Josie laughed melodically. "Sounds like fun," she grinned.

Lucas shook his head incredulously. Even now he couldn't believe that anyone could thrive under hectic work conditions. Not when he himself preferred that things were calm and orderly. Not necessarily at home, but work had to be a place of peace for him to be able to concentrate. "What about you? How are things going?"

"Oh you know…" she replied vaguely. "Busy with this, that and the other thing. Just typical life stuff. Nothing much going on."

He took a moment to look at her properly, and realized that she was quite a bit thinner than she'd been the last time he'd seen her. It wasn't a bad thin, she didn't look unhealthy, but she'd definitely lost weight. And there was a slight pinched look to her face, as if she'd been in pain and sick recently.

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked a little worried. He leaned forward. "You look as if you've been sick or something."

She waved her free hand away vaguely, like she was brushing off his concern. "I'm fine. I've just had a touch of the flu, it's nothing."

"Have you been to the doctor about it? Because maybe you should if you haven't."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm fine _mom_," she replied sarcastically. "Like I said, just a touch of flu. It's nothing to worry about, I swear." She squeezed his hand. "Now stop acting like my older brother. How's Mary doing?" she said, changing the subject abruptly.

So Lucas had started to talk about Mary, and how everything was going between the two of them, ignoring the fact that he thought she was lying. He couldn't prove anything, and Josie wasn't going to give an inch, so he went along with the conversation, but he continued to worry about her a little.

By the time they'd said goodbye, his concern had been forgotten, and they'd left each other with plans to meet up again. But they hadn't, life had intervened, and Lucas had been too busy to contact her. They'd spoken a couple times on the phone, but the last few months had been busy, and when he'd tried, no one had been at home.

And now, now that he knew what she'd been going through, he felt guilty that he hadn't made time to see her. Because when he'd called, she'd been in the hospital.

_And I can't believe how I've been wasting my time In 24 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life it's over tonight I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free please do it for me_


	3. Chapter 2: Z

Chapter Two – Z

Noel flopped down in to one of the cane chairs sitting on his front porch. His sweatshirt was covered in sweat; his breath was coming in short pants. He reached down to untie his shoelaces, and wrenched his running shoes off his feet. Dropping them on the porch, he pulled his socks off, and then his sweatshirt.

Although he was out of breath, he felt good. Running always cleared his mind from his daily problems. He'd been running for as long as he could remember, since just after his father had left. Back then it had been a way for him to forget, to switch off and forget everything that was going on in his life. Now it was just a way to sort through any problems he had. And he'd had a few recently.

After Blake Holsey High had been shut down, he'd started working at a University, teaching science, but now his job was up for review, and due to his unorthodox teaching methods, he wasn't sure whether he was going to get a renewal. On top of that, some of his students had been causing some trouble in the labs, and he'd had to sort that.

So all in all, life had been pretty hectic for Noel Zachary. And it wasn't about to get much better.

As he stood to walk inside, his clothes in his hands, he noticed a package lying on his front doorstep. Z reached down to pick it up, and jiggled it, trying to guess what was in as he let himself in to the house.

He laid it down on the coffee table in his lounge, dumped his clothes in the wash basket and headed to the fridge. Z pulled out a bottle of water, and took a couple sips, feeling the ice cold water slide down his throat. Feeling sweaty and disgusting, he decided to have a quick shower before he opened the mysterious package.

Z walked up the stairs and in to the bathroom. Just as he was stepping in to the shower, the phone began to ring. He muttered darkly under his breath, but decided to ignore it, he'd let the machine pick up instead. His shower was a little more important to him at that moment then answering the phone.

When he finally felt better, his sore muscles no longer sore, and the water was beginning to turn cold, he switched the taps off, and stepped out. Wrapping a towel around his waist he left the bathroom and went in to his room to get dressed.

Coming back down the stairs, the phone rang again, and he rushed to answer it. However just as he reached it, it stopped ringing. He picked it up anyway, and quickly said "Hello," just in case. But no one was there. Hanging up, he walked back in to the lounge, and sat down on the couch. He pulled the package in to his lap and meticulously began to open it.

He tipped the contents out on to the coffee table in front of him. A CD fell out along with two letters. Reading the note on the CD, he stood and popped it on… He picked up the first note, and skimmed the content, before slowly rereading it.

'_Dear Z… There's so much to say, a letter isn't going to cover it all… But you know it's never been easy for me to say things outloud. A letter is the only way I'm going to be able to get it all out._

_It's not easy to say, but by the time you get this letter, it'll be too late. I found out about 5 months ago that I had a malignant brain tumor… I was given six months to live. I know I should have said something, but I didn't want you guys to worry about me. I wanted to live my last six months in peace, without pitying glances. And I wanted you guys to remember me for how I was, not how I am now._

_I'm writing this from my hospital bed, and I'm sick… I'm nearing the end. When you get to this point you tend to see things a lot more clearly. Everything that's happened in your life shows up like a movie, crystal clear picture. You remember everything that's happened. I guess I'm rambling a little. _

_I really just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for me. And looking back, as I have been recently, you've been more like a father to me than my real father could ever be. I'm not just talking about the last couple of years. Even at school I looked up to you like a father. So thank you for all that._

_What else… Um… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you all, told you I was fine. I wasn't. I was dying to tell you, but I didn't want to cause you guy's months of pain. It was easier to live in silence, then tell you about it all. I didn't want you to disrupt your lives for me._

_I'm sorry I lied when you came over… You were concerned for me, and I just lied to your face. I was ashamed to do it, believe me, I didn't enjoy lying to you, any of you guys… But I had to. It was the only way I could keep you guys from spending months in limbo with me. And don't blame mom either… She was only doing what I'd asked her to do.'_

Z put down the letter for a moment. Josie's scrawled handwriting, the tear stained letter… it was all getting a bit much for him. But he knew he needed to finish it, he owed it to Josie to finish reading what she'd painstakingly written to him.

And he knew she'd been in pain while she'd been writing the letter. It was evident in the slight wobbles in the writing, the words that had been slightly smudged with her tears. He could only imagine how hard it had been for her to write it, to write down all her feelings, to bare her soul to him.

'_I don't want to lie to you, not now that the end is near. I am scared Z… I'm really scared, but there's nothing that can be done. Don't think mom didn't try. She took me to some of the best hospitals, but it was the same everywhere. The tumor had progressed too far for any treatment to work on it… Even surgery wasn't an option. We looked in to it. So yea… I'm scared. I don't want to die. _

_I'm too young. But that's what's going to happen. And I want you to promise me that you won't be sad about it for too long, please. I need to know that you, and the others, are going to live your life to the fullest. You never know when it's going to happen to you. So please Z, remember that. And thank you. For everything you've ever done. Keep an eye on the others for me please… Especially Vaughn. I can only guess at what it's going to do to him when he learns._

_And if you could keep an eye on my mom for me as well. I know it's been hard on her, she's tried to hide it from me, but I know. Thank you Z._

_I also wanted to say how much I've admired you… You're so brave and kind, giving attention to those who need it most. You've been so selfless over the years, looking out for each and everyone of us and putting your own needs last._

_I love you Z._

_Josie.'_

Tears began to slide down Z's cheeks. The obvious pain written in her letter was gut wrenching. One of his 'kids' had been in pain and he hadn't been there to help her through it. It was breaking his heart.

"Oh Josie," he whispered. "Why didn't you let us be there for you? Why couldn't you accept that you needed us? Why didn't you tell us what was going on?"

He'd always looked on Josie as a daughter. Out of all of his 'kids' Josie had been the one that needed someone to look out for her. And despite their first meeting, he'd always felt more of a bond with her than with any of the others.

Maybe it had had something to do with the fact that neither of them had had fathers while growing up. Maybe it had something to do with the passion that they'd shared for science. Maybe it had been because both of them were slightly unconventional. He wasn't sure. But there'd been a definite bond between them. She was the only one he had let tease him the way she did. She was the only one who dared.

He had admired her spunk, her daring. There'd been a certain kindred between them, that although he had been her teacher, she his student, she knew she could go to him with anything, and generally not have to worry about any consequences. And now all of that was gone, never to happen again.

Z began to pace… Pacing had always helped him in the past, whenever something needed to be thought through. Something about the repetitive motion helped him think, just like with his running.

He just couldn't believe that a person like Josie could cease to exist. She'd always been the kind of person who filled up every corner of the room. She only had to walk in to a room to get a reaction, whether it had been a good reaction from friends, or whether it had been a groan… From the people who didn't exactly like her.

She'd been a one of a kind, an individual, and just the thought that she was no longer there was enough to have him almost sobbing with grief.

All the memories of teaching his students came flooding back to him, Josie's cheeky smile, her witty comments, and her fiery temper. He had to laugh as he remembered the various times' she'd got herself and the rest of the science club in to some kind of trouble. And the way they almost always had managed to escape the consequences.

The phone rang for a third time, startling Z out of his musings. He quickly wiped his tears away, and cleared his throat before picking it up. "Hello?"

There was a slight pause on the other end, before he was answered. "Hey, Z."

"Lucas," Z replied. By the tone of Lucas's voice, Z knew that he'd already heard about Josie. "How are you doing?" he asked Lucas softly.

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. "I… I'm stunned; I guess is the only way to describe it."

Z nodded. "I know. I'm finding it a little hard to believe myself. It seems like just yesterday I was talking to her, and she was fine. And now…" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. It would be like carving it in concrete.

"And now…" Lucas repeated. "Z… I've got a question. You saw her only a couple months ago… How was she? Did she seem…? I dunno, different, to you?"

Z searched through his memory to recall what he'd seen the last time he'd seen Josie.

_2 months earlier_

He rapped lightly on the door and waited for a few moments. It opened and he smiled at Kelly Trent. "Hey Noel," she said, keeping the door close to her side.

"Hey," he replied. "Is Josie around? I was just in the area, and thought I'd stop by to see her."

She seemed hesitant to let him in, looking back over her shoulder for a moment as if she wasn't sure she should. Finally she smiled slightly and let him in to the apartment, led him down to the lounge. She waved him in, and then quickly walked away towards her bedroom. He thought he heard a muffled sob from her direction, but thought nothing of it.

He looked in to the lounge; the tv was on, the sound down low. And Josie was sitting huddled up in blankets on the couch. He noticed that she was a lot thinner than the last time he'd seen her, her face drawn, she looked like she was in a bit of pain. She was also shivering slightly, like she was freezing cold.

For a moment or two he just watched her from doorway, unobserved. She coughed, and raised her hand to her mouth. There was a small ball of cotton wool taped to her hand. Concerned, Z stepped in to the room.

"Hey, Josie."

She jumped slightly, and turned around to face him, a look of surprise on her pale face. When she saw Z she grinned, and unfurled herself from her blankets. She stood and moved towards him. Giving her a hug, Z noted that she was a lot lighter as well as thinner.

"Hey Z," she said, smiling happily at him, but looking drained, like it had taken a lot of effort to get up. She sat back down on the couch, and motioned for Z to pull up a chair. "How are you?" she asked. "What have you been up to?"

For a moment Z thought she was deflecting him from asking her some questions about her health, but he ignored the twinge. He knew that if Josie had something she wanted to tell him, then she would tell him in her own time.

"I'm good Josie. Works been busy. Its student prank time, so naturally the students are playing pranks everywhere. We've got to be careful, because you just never know when someone's going to get you," he laughed.

Josie laughed with him, but within seconds her laughter turned to coughing. She lifted her hand to her mouth again, and he saw the cotton wool taped to her hand again. As soon as her coughing fit died down, he took her hand, and examined it carefully. She tried to pull her hand away, but he refused to let go. Her hand was as cold as ice.

"What's going on Josie?" he asked with worry evident in his eyes.

"I'm fine Z… Honestly. I'm just recovering from the flu. It's nothing," she replied, avoiding his eyes.

He gestured to her hand. "And this?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing." She repeated. "I just had some blood tests done."

Z knew she was lying, and was determined to get to the bottom of it. "In your hand?"

"They couldn't find a suitable vein. The only one they could find was in my hand… I swear, I'm fine. They were just making sure my iron levels weren't too low, because I've been losing a bit of weight lately. I swear!" she replied, grinning at his skeptical expression. "I guess I've just got junky veins."

Although he wasn't completely satisfied, he allowed her to believe he was. "Okay, I just get worried about you, that's all. Are your iron level's alright?"

She nodded. "Yea, they're fine. It was just routine tests." She stuck her tongue out. He knew she wasn't fond of needles.

Accepting her explanation, the topic changed, and they spent the rest of the afternoon chatting happily. But just before he left the apartment, he pulled Kelly aside and questioned her as to what was going on with Josie. She avoided looking him in the eye, and just repeated what Josie had told him, before seeing him out.

"She was a little sick the last time I saw her," he said to Lucas, tearing himself away from the memory. "But she told me she was just recovering from the flu. I didn't quite believe her, but I thought if it was something more serious she would have told me." He laughed mirthlessly. "I guess I was wrong."

There was silence on the other end for a moment or two, and then Lucas asked Z, "Have you heard from Vaughn?"

"No, I haven't. You're the first person I've spoken to since I found out."

"Well, I heard from Marshall this morning. Corrine's not taking it too well… Which is to be expected, I guess. Marshall said he's all right… I could tell he was upset. But he's taking it a lot better than Corrine is. Are you going to be at the funeral?"

"Yea, of course I'll be there. I guess I'll see you there. And Corrine and Marshall?"

"They'll be there. Are you going to call Vaughn?"

Z thought for a moment. He knew it was going to be hard to call Vaughn, but he knew it had to be done. "Yea… I'll call Vaughn."

_Is there a heaven a hell and will I come back who can tell  
Now I can see what matters to me it's as clear as crystal  
_

_The places I've been the people I've seen plans that I made start to fade  
The sun's setting gold thought I would grow old, it wasn't to be_

_--------------------_

A/N - Sorry it took me a while to update guys... RL has been so busy, dealing with the aftermath of the flood. We've had painters through, and for some strange reason, my social life has suddenly boomed, and I've been going out and having people over. It's just been a frantic rush:D But never fear, I am here, and I'm working on what could possibly be the last chapter of this story at the moment... I dunno, I may decide to take it a little further. I'm also working on two other BHH stories... So like I said, busy bee I am! Love you all for reviewing! (((hug)))


	4. Chapter 3: Corrine and Marshall

A/N: Sorry for the long delay in getting this up, I have had an amazingly hectic social time lately. Completely hectic:D Enjoy, and remember to grab the tissues before you actually start reading this.

Chapter 3 – Corrine and Marshall

Marshall stepped in to the kitchen, following his nose. The smell of bacon frying could lure him out of the deepest sleep. He looked towards the stove, and there was Corrine, her back to him, dancing slightly to the stereo as she cooked his breakfast.

He walked up to her and put his hands around her waist, leaning over her shoulder to get a look at the bacon. He sniffed at it appreciatively.

"Mmmm… Smell's good," he smiled, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

She laughed, and batted him away with the spatula. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

He turned his puppy dog eyes on her and she laughed again. "Fine, fine… Grab a plate."

He grinned and grabbed a plate from the counter, holding it so she could dish up his bacon and eggs. "There's toast in the toaster, and juice on the bench."

"You know me too well," he replied.

"I should do, after being married to you for three years!" she shot back, as he grabbed his toast and his juice and sat down at the small kitchen table. She switched off the stove, and joined him with her breakfast.

The doorbell rang, interrupting their breakfast. Marshall sighed, and placed his fork down on his plate. "I'll get it, it's my turn," he said, raising an eyebrow at Corrine in mock annoyance.

She smiled back at him. "Thank you, honey," she laughed as he pushed his chair back from the table.

He stood and walked to the door, where a delivery woman stood. He opened it and she looked down at her clipboard before looking back up at him.

"Corrine and Marshall Wheeler?" she asked.

He grinned. Even after three years it was still good to hear someone say Corrine Wheeler. Forgiving her, in his mind, for interrupting their breakfast, he happily took the pen she proffered him, and signed his name.

Accepting the package, he curiously looked it over as he shut the door behind him, searching for a name to indicate who had sent it. He walked back in to the kitchen and placed it in front of Corrine.

"It's from Josie," he said, as he sat back down.

Curious, Corrine opened it up, and pulled the items out of it. Two letters and a CD fell on to the table. She popped the CD in the stereo, and let it play as she opened the first letter. Marshall reached over and opened the second letter up.

He stared at the picture of Josie as Corrine began to read the letter outloud.

'_Dear Corrine and Marshall._

_How are things with you guys? I know it's been a little while; you guys have been busy, married life and all that._

_I don't really know how to say this. It's kind of difficult, really. I guess the best thing would be to just come out and say it… Um… I'm dying. Well, technically by the time you get this, I'll be gone.'_

Corrine dropped the letter on to her plate and looked up at Marshall in horror. "Is this some kind of sick twisted joke that someone's playing on us?"

Marshall looked back at the piece of paper he was holding in his hands. "I don't think so, baby." He hand it to Corrine, who cried out when she saw what was written on it. _'Come celebrate the life of Josie Trent'_. "I think it's for real."

He picked the letter up, and skimmed to the place where Corrine had stopped, before continuing.

'_I found out about four months ago that I have a malignant brain tumor. I was given six months to live… I'm down to about two now. I know what you're thinking Corrine… Why not have surgery? We tried, believe me… It's inoperable._

_I know you're both also wondering why I didn't tell you sooner, why you had to receive this letter after my… well, death. I didn't want anyone to know, I want you guys to remember me as I was, not as I will be. It's been hard, keeping it from you, but you guys are so happy, and I didn't want to spoil that for you._

_And I didn't want to deal with any pitying looks. Don't lie and say you wouldn't have… I know you guys too well. There would have been pity in your eyes, and I couldn't deal with that. I just want to live what little time I have left without all that crap.'_

He stopped for a moment, and looked at Corrine. Tears were sliding down her face. He stood up and gathered her in to his arms. Rocking her back and forth, he held her, and whispered comfortingly in her ear.

She held on to him like a dying person holding on to a lifeboat. Her sobs racked her whole body, as the grief she felt tore her apart. Finally she pulled away, sniffling and wiped her tears. "Can you finish reading it please?"

Marshall nodded, and he picked the letter off the table, continuing to hold his wife in his arms.

'_I want to thank you guys for being my friends… I know we got off to a pretty rocky start, but you guys have been my closest friends for years, along with the rest of the old gang. Thank you for never giving up on me, and for being there for me… And for coming along for the ride, even though you were both hesitant to. _

_I just want to ask you guys to live your life… You never know when it's going to be cut short. You two are the most cautious people I know so for me, please go out there and live a little! Also, I want to apologize for lying to you both. What can I say, I'm dying, and I deserve to be a little selfish at times, right:D_

_But although you're cautious at times, a little too much sometimes, you're both loving people. I admire you guys for how brave you are… There are some ways in which you two are braver than me, that's for sure. You both know what you want and go for it, you grabbed love with both hands and refused to let it go. You're both amazing people._

_One last thing, could you guys keep an eye on Vaughn for me? I know this is going to be tough for him, and I want him to know that there are people there who care for him. Thanks again._

_I love you both._

_Josie'_

They stood in silence for a few moments, and then Corrine pulled away from Marshall. She reached over to the stereo and shut the song off. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It's… It can't be true, can it?"

She turned to Marshall, her eyes pleading with him to tell her that it was all a joke, that none of it was really happening. He shook his head sadly, unable to reassure her. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't she tell us what was going on? We would have been there for her…" Corrine paced the length of the small kitchen, her hands waving in the air as she started to sort through her emotions. "This is just so typical of her," she raged. "Let's just take everything on board and not tell anyone until it's too late, and everything has gone horribly wrong. I am so sick of it!"

Marshall grabbed her arms and pulled Corrine towards him, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Babe…" he said gently.

She fell into his arms, and started to cry again. "I just can't believe this is happening," she said, her voice muffled as her head was buried in his chest. "She's…"

Marshall held her tightly, as his tears began to fall. He'd never been particularly close to Josie; he'd be the first to admit that he'd always been slightly afraid of. But he was deeply saddened to hear that she'd died. It didn't help of course that his wife and Josie had been best friends, and that his best friend had had a crush on her.

As she clung to her husband, memories of Josie started to filter through Corrine's mind. It was just the little things, like the annoying habit Josie had… had… of chewing on Corrine's pencils. The time Corrine had accused Josie of stealing from her; she still felt a pang of guilt over that. The way they'd become friends, despite the fact that they were worlds apart, and the only thing they really shared was a passion for everything science related.

She remembered hanging out at the local café after finishing classes at uni, drinking coffee and talking about everything, mundane little daily things that were never noticed until the person in question was gone.

They stood together for a while, both lost in memories, time passing away. Marshall finally roused himself from his thoughts and looked down at his wife, who was still clinging tightly to him. He kissed her lightly on the head, and gave her a quick squeeze before pulling away.

"I should…" he ran a hand through his hair, trying to put his scattered thoughts back in to place. "I should call Lucas," he continued vaguely.

Corrine nodded and immediately began to clean up the kitchen. A defense mechanism, she knew, but cleaning and being orderly had always helped her in times of stress and worry. Automatically she grabbed the plates and scrapped the unfinished food in to the bin, lines of worry etched on her face.

Marshall picked up the phone and dialed his best friends' number. It was an automatic reaction, he knew Lucas's number off by heart. The phone rang once before it was picked up by Mary. He could hear the phone being passed over to Lucas.

"Hey, Lucas," he said quietly.

Behind him, Corrine started to cry again. She dropped her head in to the dishcloth she was holding, as if to muffle her quiet sobs.

Lucas's reply was soft, and instantly Marshall knew he'd heard about Josie, but to be sure he asked, as discreetly as possible. Lucas's reply didn't surprise him. As Lucas asked him about Corrine, Marshall motioned for her to come to him, and held her close to his chest with his free arm before replying.

"She's taken it pretty hard, you know…" he trailed off, kissing her on the top of her head again. He waited for Lucas's reply, concerned for his friend. His voice sounded aimless, as if he was drifting slightly, out of reach almost. "She…" his voice choked up, and he coughed to clear his throat. "She passed away two days ago," he replied softly to Lucas's question.

Saying it outloud was hard, as if by saying it he was confirming that it was true. He didn't want to believe that it was true… Corrine hiccupped as she tried to catch her breath, but the tears continued.

"Didn't you look inside the second envelope yet?" he asked his friend… "It's an invitation to the… you know."

He could hear the soft sounds of paper being ripped open on the other end of the line, and the slight hitch in Lucas's breathing at what Marshall guessed was the sight of Josie's face on the piece of paper.

"Ask him… Ask him if he's going to be there," Corrine whispered from somewhere deep within his shirt. Marshall nodded, but knew the answer without needing to ask the question. There was no doubt in his mind that Lucas would be at the funeral, but at Corrine's urging, he quickly checked.

Lucas sounded distracted, asking Marshall to repeat his question, but came back with an answer in the positive. "Yea, he'll be there," Marshall relayed to his wife. "And he says hi."

Corrine nodded, but didn't offer anything back. After a couple more minutes of chatting, he hung up the phone, and placed his other hand on Corrine's back. He started to rub her back in slow circles, as her breathing began to even out, her tears stopping.

_And I can't believe how I've been wasting my time _

In 18 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me


	5. Chapter 4: Vaughn

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews you guys! You all rock, and I dove you lots. Sorry it's taken a while to get this up, but I'm sick at the moment, very dizzy and feeling awful, and quitting smoking, and a whole lot of other things, so I'm just popping in quickly to get this up, then I'm off again:D Enjoy.

Chapter Four – Vaughn

He was early arriving to work that morning, which wasn't too unusual these days… Work was the only thing that kept him going. After several failed relationships, in which he denied having any feelings whatsoever for Josie, Vaughn had returned to work at his father's company, in preparation for the day when he would take over Pearadyne Labs.

Nodding to his assistant as he walked past her in to his office, he took a sip of his coffee, and laid his brief case down on his desk. His assistant had quietly followed him in, to hand over the various pieces of paper in her hands; messages, schedule for the day, and other little things that needed looking at.

He sighed as he slipped in to his chair behind his desk, and held one hand out to her. She placed the papers in his outstretched hand, before turning around to head back to her desk.

"Thank you Becky," he called after her.

Vaughn had matured a lot since his mother had come back. His father's company had been in ruins, after all his failed attempts at getting her back; almost every penny had been spent, from Victor's accounts, from Pearadyne's accounts. And from Vaughn's own personal accounts. But working side by side… by side… with his mother and father, they'd managed to restore Pearadyne back to its former glory.

It didn't mean that Vaughn necessarily enjoyed working there though. If he was honest with himself, he'd rather have been back at college, hanging out with his friends and playing football again. But it was what both his parents wanted, and he was eager to please them. After all those years of wanting, he finally had his father's approval, and his mother back.

He idly flicked through the various messages that had been left for him, noting which ones were important, which one's weren't. Slowly worked his way through the day's schedule list; his day was always full.

He was interrupted by a light knock on the door, and Becky peering round.

Nodding to her, Vaughn put his pen down, and motioned for Becky to enter. She walked quickly up to his desk and placed a parcel on it.

"This just arrived for you, Mr. Pearson," she said before she turned and walked away, her heels clicking lightly on the marble floor.

As she closed the door behind her, Vaughn picked the parcel up and, using a pair of scissors, opened it. As the contents slid on to his desk, he stared curiously at the handwriting. It was as familiar to him as his own was.

'Why is Josie sending me this?' he wondered; he'd only spoken to her a couple of weeks beforehand, and she hadn't mentioned anything about sending him something.

The CD was placed in to the CD slot in his computer, and immediately the bass kicked in and the song started. Cringing at the noise level he quickly reached over and turned the sound down to a more comfortable level.

For a moment he just sat back and listened to the song, letting it flow over him. But peace turned to worry as he listened to the lyrics. Slitting the first letter open, he leaned forward and began to read.

'_Vaughn'_' it began simply. Her writing was a little unsteady, wobbly in places, hard to make out in others. Several of the words had been blotched due to tears, and it looked like the letter had been written over a period of several days. His heart began to pound rhythmically, loudly; his concern, and fear, etched on his face.

'_Vaughn,_

_There's so much that needs to be said to you, and I don't think I have the capability to let you know… Maybe if you felt the same way, then you'd understand, I don't know. It's hard for me to say it, it's always been hard, and I've denied it to myself for so long. But I have to let you know now._

_I love you._

_I've always loved you, Vaughn. All through high school, I really liked you… But after 3 years of like, I knew it was love. How could I have those feelings for so long if it wasn't love? I've been in love with you for at least 5 years Vaughn, but I've never been able to say it. I treasured our friendship, and I didn't want to ruin it by saying those words to you, those words I knew you could never say back to me._

_I do understand Vaughn; I know you don't love me the same way. Maybe at first you did, or maybe you just in competition with Lucas, I don't know. But I know you think of me as a sister now._

_I think in a way, it makes it a little easier for me to say what I have to say next. That I'm dying Vaughn, that I've been dying for the last 5 and a half months. I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, given six months to live. Those six months are almost up. I needed you to know how I felt before I died though, which is why I've sent you this letter._

_At least knowing that you don't love me the same way I love you means that this won't be as hard on you as it would have otherwise been. That gives me some peace of mind about you. I know it's still going to be tough, but you won't hurt as much as you could have, had you loved me back._

_I want to thank you for being there. We've had our hard times… We're both stubborn and unwilling to admit when we need help, when we're in the wrong. But we're both strong people Vaughn, even if you don't believe it sometimes. So yea, we've had difficult times, but there were some really good times in there too. And I want to thank you for those moments, for being my friend, for being a shoulder to lean on._

_And I'm sorry that I never said any of this outloud to you, but I'm too much of a coward… There's no way I could have uttered these words and been able to look you in the face afterwards. So I apologize that you had to find out in a letter._

_Just do one thing for me Vaughn… Live your life the way you want to. I know you're not happy where you are, and life is way too short to live it unhappy. So please, live your life and be happy, for me Vaughn._

_You're a strong person, strong and brave… I've always loved that about you… You need to stand up to your father before it's too late, stand up for your happiness. I know this job makes you miserable at times, even though you've finally gained your father's approval. But Vaughn, if you stay there, you're going to be so unhappy, and I don't want that for you, I want you to be happy Vaughn._

_With all the love in my heart, Josie.'_

Vaughn laid the letter down on his desk and leaned back in his chair, stunned to the core. The three words he'd always wanted to hear from Josie had just been said… But now it was too late for him to able to do anything about it.

He'd never admitted it to Josie, he'd tried to deny it to himself, but he'd been in love with Josie for years. He'd always wanted to hold her, kiss her, but he'd been too afraid to say anything. Like Josie, he'd assumed that the only feelings she'd had for him were feelings of friendship, platonic feelings.

And so he'd never said anything, and pretended like his feelings about her didn't matter. He didn't want to ruin a great friendship and risk losing her altogether; it was just easier to remain silent.

Chewing his lip, he dropped his head in to his hands. "It's too late," he whispered. The letter was dated just two weeks ago… Her six months were up. "I'll never get the chance to say anything to her."

He looked up at the sound of his door creaking open. Becky was standing there, looking at him, concern written all over her face.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Pearson?"

Vaughn shook his head wearily. "No. It's not…" he sighed quietly. "Please hold all my calls; I don't want to talk to anyone. And please cancel all my meetings. Oh, and let my father know that I won't be meeting him for lunch after all."

She nodded and backed out of the room. As soon as she was gone, Vaughn loosened his tie, and rummaged around in his bottom drawer. He pulled out a small bottle of scotch, and opened it up. Inhaling slightly, he stood and grabbed a glass off of a small tray sitting on top of a side desk.

He poured himself a generous serving of the drink, and tipped it in to his mouth, emptying the glass in one mouthful. Although the clock on his desk read 9:02am, he decided he deserved to have a few drinks; after all, the woman he loved had just died.

Sitting back down, he filled the glass again, and placed it on the desk. There was still one unopened envelope, and delaying opening it was only going to be harder in the long run.

He pulled out a card, Josie's smiling face looking up at him on the outside of it. His heart skipped a beat as he gazed at her. Running one finger down the side of her face, he choked back a sob. He couldn't fathom how someone so beautiful could be alive, breathing, walking around, laughing, one minute, and be gone the next. Gone, dead, no longer breathing, or walking around, or laughing… Just gone.

Numb, he just sat for a while, feeling like someone had taken a knife to his heart, cut it out of his body, and stamped it into the ground. He felt somewhat lifeless himself, like a part of himself had just died.

Gulping down his second glass of scotch, he picked up the framed photo that always sat on his desk. He looked down at the five smiling people who were smiling up at him, their arms around each other. The memory of that day filtered back to him. An ordinary Saturday afternoon at Black Hole High, they'd had a picnic outside with Z, who had snapped the picture on Corrine's camera. She'd had it reprinted for all of them, so all of them could have a picture to remind them of that happy time.

It had been the last time at Black Hole High that they'd all been happy together, because less than a week later, Josie had disappeared in to the alternate timeline for a year. And when she'd come back there'd been so many issues to work through, so much explaining to do. Then came university, and they hadn't all been at the same one.

He polished off a third glass of scotch, and wiped the tears away that had fallen. He scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly and let the memories take him over.

A light rapping at the door pulled him back out of his musings. "Come in," he called, his voice gruff, slightly hoarse.

Becky popped her head around the door for a third time that morning. "Um, Mr. Pearson… I know you said you didn't want to be disturbed, but a Mr." she glanced down at the piece of paper in her hand, "Noel Zachary, has called for you three times this morning. He's insisting on talking to you."

Vaughn sighed, and rubbed his face with his hands. "Is he still on the phone?"

"Yes Mr. Pearson."

"Okay, patch him through."

She nodded and ducked back out. Moments later a light started to blink on and off on his phone. Hesitantly Vaughn reached for the phone. He wasn't sure if he wanted to take the phone call, knowing that Z would only confirm what had happened to Josie, which would extinguish any hope that he had that someone was just playing a cruel joke on him.

Finally he picked it up. "Vaughn Pearson."

"Vaughn," Z's voice came over the phone softly. "Um… How are you?"

"I take it you've heard then," Vaughn replied, his tone just as soft.

"Yea… Everyone knows… Vaughn, how are you doing?" Z repeated.

"Oh you know…" Vaughn dithered. He'd never been able to reveal his feelings easily. Something he'd learnt from his father, stay strong, be tough… Never show weakness. Showing the world your feelings was a sign of weakness. "Busy with work…"

He could hear Z's tired sigh on the other end. "I meant about…"

"I know what you meant Z…" Vaughn cut him off. "I'm fine. Dealing with it. At least the best way I know how," he continued with a slight smirk. "What about you?"

"I'm in shock to be honest with you Vaughn. I had no idea things were so bad with her… She was sick the last time I saw her, but she told me it was the flu. When was the last time you saw her?"

Vaughn thought back for a moment. 'About four or five months ago I guess," he finally replied. "But I only spoke to her a couple weeks ago… She seemed fine then. At least nothing to suggest that she was… you know… dying." He dropped his head into the palm of his free hand, and shook it, trying to deny everything he knew was true.

He waited for Z to reply, but there was just silence on the other end, as if Z was lost in thought.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" he finally asked hesitantly, his voice so quiet that Z had to strain to hear him.

"Yes, Vaughn. It's really happening."

_In 13 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me _

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it  
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it


	6. Chapter 5: The Funeral

A/N: Well, I am so sorry that I didn't get this up earlier, I've been wayy busy. Plus I had some major troubles with this chapter. I'm not too happy with it, but it just won't allow me to change anything. So hopefully you guys like it. It may be a while before I get chapter 6 up, because I'm really struggling with it, but I will get there, I promise. Enjoy guys.

And thanks for all the wonderful feedback I've been getting! (((hug)))

Chapter Five – The Funeral

The day dawned bright, the sun shone down heavily, no clouds in the sky. It didn't seem right, like the sun was mocking them as they all prepared themselves for a day of immense sadness. It should have been a cloudy day, a damp day, to match their feelings. Instead the sunlight danced around the lawns of the graveyard, the trees rustled slightly in the small breeze, and the birds chirped happily.

At eleven in the morning, cars started arriving at the small church, everyone trying to mask their pain, but failing miserably.

Z was the first one to arrive, stepping out of his car in a crisp dark suit. He was dreading the day ahead, butterflies swarming his stomach. He'd been unable to eat that morning, unable to run. Unable to do anything other than sit and contemplate the day ahead.

He'd spoken to Kelly the same day he'd found out about Josie's death… Even though it was going to be hard, Z was determined to carry through with Josie's wishes, and decided to start looking out for Kelly straight away. He'd almost regretted it when Kelly had asked him to be one of Josie's pallbearers, but knew that it was right for him to be there, to take Josie on her final journey.

Shading his eyes from the relentless sun, Z looked up at the church steps before him. A lithe figure stood before him, her dark skirt fluttering around her ankles in the small breath of fresh air. Kelly was playing with a ring on her gaunt finger, every small bone and vein showing in her hands.

The nervousness that he felt intensified. This had to be one of the worst days of his life. Even going through the wormhole had to be better than what lay ahead of him. Taking a step forward, he felt courage begin to surge through him, and knew that he'd be able to get up the steps and talk to Kelly.

"Kelly," he whispered.

She turned to him, and looked up in to his eyes, hers brimming with tears. She gave him a small watery smile, before the tears fell.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Z shook his head… "Don't be." He pulled her into his arms, and just held on tightly. She clung to him, a lost woman drowning in a sea of tears, clinging to the only salvation in sight. Another car pulling up made her pull away and hastily wipe her tears away. He knew she felt she had to be strong, even though it was her only child that they were burying that day.

The car stopped just behind Z's and two doors opened. Marshall and Corrine stepped out in to the bright sun, and hurried up the stairs to greet Z and Kelly. Corrine went straight to Josie's mum and hugged her tightly, while Marshall shook hands with Z, before giving each other a quick, manly hug.

After whispering a few words in Kelly's ear, Corrine turned to Z with a small smile. She quickly hugged him, and he held her tight for a few moments, before they both pulled away. Marshall immediately took Corrine's hand and lightly stroked it with his thumb.

Another car pulled up as they all searched for words, something to say to ease the uncomfortable tension that hung around them all. Corrine fidgeted with the hem on her shirt, casting glances at everyone standing around her.

Two more cars drove in behind the third car that had arrived, and people began to pile out them, making their way up the stairs to offer their condolences to Kelly. Marshall spotted a familiar face in amongst the small crowd, and a moment later Lucas and Mary were joining their small group.

Exchanging quiet greetings, Lucas sighed heavily. Mary smiled slightly at him, and held his hand tightly in hers. She squeezed it, trying to pass on some of her strength so he could face what was about to happen.

Looking at his watch, Z motioned to the group. "It's time to go in guys."

"What about Vaughn?" Corrine asked quietly. "I thought you said he'd be here."

Z nodded. "He will be Corrine," he replied with confidence, patting her on the back.

Turning, each one faced their own personal hell. There at the end of the aisle, on a stand, was Josie's coffin. Flowers decorated the top, while off to the sides stood two easels. One had a large photo of Josie, smiling happily at them all, while the other had a large black sheet with many different photo's placed on it. Josie as a baby, learning to walk, with various school friends throughout the years, including the science club and Z, and friends she'd gone to University with. Even one of her sitting up in a hospital bed, probably one of the last photos ever taken of her.

They made their way down to the front, behind Kelly, barely noticing anyone else. And there in the front row sat Vaughn.

He'd arrived half an hour before Z had, hoping to spend some time alone with Josie before everyone else arrived. It had been his time to reflect and cry, in private. He didn't want anyone to see him crying, not Vaughn, the big College Football Hero.

Looking up, he smiled faintly at the rest of the group, as they slipped in beside him. Corrine turned to him and gave him a small hug, before grabbing a hold of his and clutching it tightly. On the other side of her, Marshall held her other hand.

Silence fell as the Minister stood and walked to the podium beside Josie's coffin.

"Family and friends," he began. "We are gathered here to celebrate the life of Josie Trent, daughter and friend." He paused and coughed slightly, before glancing at Kelly. "Josie was… An amazing person. I didn't know her as well as everyone here did, I only met her in the hospital, but within those frequent visits I feel I got to know her as well as anyone could.

She had an amazing strength, one that stood her in good stead during the trials she faced this past six months. Josie was vibrant, filled with life and joy for the world around her. Even facing her own death, cooped up in a hospital room, sick… she found the time to make the other patients smile. I watched her closely during this time, and found that she had an amazing peace about what was happening to her.

Despite her illness, she wasn't angry where most people would have cause to be. She found happiness in the simple things, continued to keep her sense of humor, and often had the other occupants of her room in stitches. If we have anything to learn from her, it's to remember to live life and find joy in the simple things.

Now I want to take this opportunity to invite you up here. If you have anything you need to say to Josie, or any stories you wish to share, please feel free to come up and speak your piece."

He stepped down and sat down next to Kelly. He whispered something to her, and she smiled gratefully and squeezed his hand.

The soft strands of Sarah McLachlin's Arms of the Angel came over the loud speaker, causing Corrine, among others, to break down in tears. Marshall pulled her into his arms and held her tightly against his chest. She sniffled slightly, before pulling away and brushing her tears away.

'_You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here'_

Out of the corner of his eye, Vaughn saw two people move towards the podium. A pale faced girl was being held tightly by the arm by a strong looking guy. She was bald, and the look of one who had been through Chemotherapy. The girl stepped up and looked around the crowd, meeting his eyes for a fraction of a second before looking away.

"Hi," she said simply, her voice slightly hoarse. "I'm Tracy. I knew Josie from the hospital… We were roommates. In the short time that I knew her, Josie changed my life. Before she came all I did was wallow in self pity, wondering why God had picked me to have an awful life changing illness. But then in came Josie, and with her laughter and love for life, she changed me.

I'm no longer angry about dying, because Josie taught me to value the things I still have. Like friends, and family. To love as much as you can while you still can, and to live out your days making people happy. That's Josie's legacy."

She turned to face the coffin. "Thank you Josie. I'll always remember what you taught me. Thank you."

The pair stepped down and walked back down the aisle slowly, before taking their seats a few rows back. Another person stepped up to the podium behind them and started to talk.

"I knew Josie from University. From the get go I wanted to be her friend. She was so vibrant, so alive; she just made everyone around her want to experience it with her. Josie was always taking us on crazy adventures, whether it was ditching class to take a road trip and go surfing, or playing pranks on some of our favorite professors."

The guy grinned in recollection before continuing. "There was this one time, we pranked one of our science professors, and I swore we were going to kicked out of the University. Josie somehow mixed up this concoction which turned everyone in the class green, and said that it was a science experiment gone wrong. Of course when we washed the stuff off, our Professor wasn't exactly too impressed. But Josie knew how to get around him, and by the end of the day even the Professor was laughing at how we pranked him.

But that was Josie for you… Getting in to trouble, and then somehow twisting whatever authority figure it was around her finger with a cheeky grin and getting out of it again." He smiled once more before leaving the podium.

Corrine sighed deeply, before patting Marshall's hand. She stood and smoothed out her black skirt, before she took the first step towards the podium. The podium looked so far away, and she wondered whether she'd be able to make it there. She looked down as Lucas grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Corrine gave him a soft smile before she continued on up.

She spread her notes out on the podium, trying to find the words to start.

"Josie… Was a good friend to me. We went to school together when we were younger. When I first met her, the complete opposite of me, I wondered whether we could ever be friends. She was messy, slightly wild, had no regards for rules, impetuous… Everything I was not. And yet we still managed to forge a friendship. I admired her for being all those things, even if it did, on many occasions, get us in to trouble."

She paused, searching for what to say next. Corrine looked down at her friends, her friends who were encouraging her to go on. Nodding slightly, she looked back out at the various groups gathered in front of her.

"You all know what Josie was like, the way she could somehow force you to do something you didn't really want to do, but after you'd done it, you were actually happy you had done it. She was a driving force, on occasion a hurricane. And you couldn't escape it. And she was a good friend, always there when you needed her, very rarely asking for anything in return.

And she's going to be missed."

Corrine stepped down, unable to say anything more. She stood beside Josie's coffin for a moment, lightly touched it with her fingers. "I love you," she whispered, before heading back to sit next to her husband.

As Corrine moved back to her seat, the Minister stood back up, and started to speak again.

"All of you have various memories of who Josie was… Keep those memories, and cherish them. She would not have wanted you to be sad during this time. She was a person who was full of life, and would want you all to be the same. Now let's bow our heads and pray."

After a few minutes of silent prayer, another song came over the loud speaker. Metallica, Nothing Else Matters. Lucas smiled to himself, typical Josie with her rock songs.

'_Life is ours we live it our way, all these words I don't just say… And nothing else matters.'_

"Before we leave, Kelly has a few words she'd like to say."

Kelly stood with a small sigh that only Z heard, and faced the room.

"I just want to say thank you to everyone for coming today. It's exactly how Josie would have wanted it. Before she died, we discussed what was going to happen for today, and it's almost exactly how she envisioned it. So thank you. And thank you all for being a part of my daughters' life."

She sat back down again, tears coursing down her cheeks. She bit her lip to keep back the small sob that was welling up inside of her.

"After a small private ceremony at which you are welcome to attend, there will be refreshments back at Kelly's house," the minister said, before turning away.

Lucas, Vaughn, Z and Marshall exchanged glances before standing. Slowly they made their way to the coffin and each grabbed a handle. Without saying a word, they hoisted the coffin off its stand, and made their way down the aisle with it. Out of the church, down the steps and into the hearse, each man lost in silence as their thoughts overtook them.

Everyone followed Kelly down the aisle, who was slowly following the last journey of her daughter, tears falling down her face. Corrine walked next to her, gripping her hand. Mary was right behind them.

The group stood around behind the hearse as the door was shut. Slowly everyone filtered out of the church, saying their goodbyes as they walked past to their cars. And within ten minutes they were the only people left.

Still in silence, they made their way to their individual cars and followed the hearse out to the cemetery where Josie was to be buried.

At the cemetery, the coffin was lowered on to a frame that stood above the plot where she was to be buried. They gathered around the coffin, each still lost in their own thoughts. Only a small group had decided to attend, mainly Kelly and their own private group, with just a couple of other people who had been close to Josie while she'd been at University.

Prayers were said, Corrine sung Amazing Grace, and everyone said their final goodbye, with a small handful of dirt. "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes," the minister intoned over the coffin. And with a slight creek, it was slowly lowered in to the ground.

Each one chucked a small red rose on top as the coffin made its descent.

Vaughn turned away with tears in his eyes. He couldn't bear the sight of the coffin being lowered, the thought of Josie being lowered in to a deep dark hole in the earth, never to see the light again. "Goodbye, Josie," he whispered.

Small whimpers emitted from Kelly, and Z pulled her back in to his arms, letting her cling to him. Although he was struggling to fight back tears himself, he knew that Kelly needed someone to be strong for her, and since she was burying the only family she had left, he knew it had to be him.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."

As Corrine's voice died away, she turned to Marshall, and they held each other, neither one hiding their tears. Instead they leaned on each other, allowing the tears to flow freely, and rocked back and forth slightly, trying to ease each other's pain.

Although Mary was affected by the service, she hadn't known Josie very well, and so she was able to hold Lucas as he cried. He clung tightly to her, unable to bear the pain that was pulling him down.

As the sun began its descent, the birds stopped chirping, and the sky began to cloud over. A slight rumble off in the distance warned of thunder, and the air grew still. And each one of the mourners turned away from the plot and began to leave. The cars each left the cemetery one by one, except for two cars.

Kelly had stayed behind to have a few more moments with her daughter, and Z had stayed to keep an eye on her. She turned away and began to walk to the car, looking back over her shoulder. As she reached the car, she looked back one last time.

The sight of the hole in the ground, and the workers beginning to lay the dirt on top was too much for her, and she fell to her knees, crying. Z came up behind her and knelt down to hold her once again.

"I can't leave," she whispered hoarsely. "I can't leave my daughter behind. What if she gets cold? What if she gets lonely? I can't just walk away from here and leave her."

Z breathed in deeply, unable to answer her questions. "I know," he whispered in her ear. "But Josie wouldn't want you to sit here and waste away. She'd want you to get up and continue moving forward. You know she would."

Kelly nodded slightly, and leaned against Z, before struggling to her feet. He helped her stand, and lead her to the passenger side of her car. Taking her keys, he unlocked the door, helped her in, and then hopped in the drivers' seat.

"What about your car?" she asked, looking at him.

He shook his head. "I can pick it up later. Let's get you home."

As they drove out of the cemetery, Kelly leaned her head against the window, and looked back at her daughters' grave until it was out of sight.

_And I can't believe how much I've wasted my time _

In just 8 hours they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight

_I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me_


	7. Chapter 6: The Wake

A/N: As you can see I finally finished the next chapter:D I'm happy to say that there is only the prolugue left to come after this and that it is indeed fully written, so there won't be long till it's posted!

Chapter Six – The Wake

Marshall handed Corrine a small plate as she sat down on the couch. She took it from him with a grateful smile, and he perched on the edge of the couch next to her. Across from them, Vaughn sat with a beer and was methodically loosening his tie. Lucas and Mary sat next to him, each with a small plate of food, but none of them were eating.

Music was playing at a low volume from the small stereo, a mix that Josie had made prior to her death, while various people that she'd known were wandering the room, talking and sharing their memories of her.

Lucas leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees and dropped his head into his hands with a small sigh of bitterness. It had not been long since they'd arrived at the house, not even a full half hour since they had left the cemetery, but still Z and Kelly had not arrived back.

Corrine stood after a few moments, her plate in her hand still with food on it. She walked in to the small kitchen, and started to clean up. Putting aside food for Kelly and Z, she washed dishes, trying to forget all the events of the day. Keeping herself busy was going to be the only thing that would get her through the rest of the day.

As time marched on, slowly for the remaining members of the science club, the other mourners slowly drifted away, lost in their own worlds, their own memories, and soon they were the only ones left. And still Kelly and Z had yet to arrive.

Sitting back down next to Marshall, Corrine wearily rested her head against his shoulder. She'd finished all the dishes, cleaned every last inch of the kitchen down, while Lucas, Mary and Marshall had cleaned the lounge and talked in low voices, before Mary had left because of a work emergancy. Vaughn had remained slumped on the couch, lost in thought, working his way silently through his fifth beer.

Finally they heard the key in the front door, and soon Kelly appeared, looking completely drained, supported by Z. Corrine jumped to her feet to hug her, but Z shook his head silently, trying to mask his pain. He led Kelly down the hallway, and they heard his muffled voice as he helped her to bed.

Shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could, Z tiredly made his way back down the hall and into the lounge, taking a seat in the last available chair.

"How is she?" Corrine asked with concern.

Z sighed quietly. "Doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances," he replied without looking up. He played with the end of his tie, looking for all the world like a lost school boy, fidgeting nervously. "It's over," he whispered.

Sitting back down, Corrine looked over at Vaughn, who was now on to his sixth beer. "Vaughn," she said quietly. "Don't you think you've had enough?"

He looked up at her with glazed eyes. "Enough?" he slurred slightly. "I don't think that you've the right to tell me that I've had enough when we've just buried the woman that I love!" he all but shouted at her.

Taken aback, Corrine shifted her eyes to Marshall. "Vaughn," he began.

"No… Marshall, shut up," Vaughn replied testily. "Do you realize that Josie died not knowing that I loved her? She wrote me a letter, telling me that she was in love with me, and I didn't get the chance to let her know how I felt. I didn't get the chance to let her know that I've been in love with her since high school. She thought I didn't love her, that I didn't care about her… And now she's dead. So don't tell me what to do!"

He was on the edge of his seat, his beer forgotten, and the pain evident in his eyes and in his face to all who were present. His face was flushed from the beer and the anger that had risen in him all of a sudden.

"It's not fair!" he cried out, rising to his feet. He began to pace the room. "We never got the chance to be with each other, and now she's dead. It's a completely and utterly stupid situation. Why'd this have to happen?"

Z stood and placed a hand on his shoulder, patting it slightly. "I know Vaughn, there's nothing right about what's happened. But we can't change it, there's not much point getting angry about it now."

"So what the hell am I supposed to do?" Vaughn asked, spinning around to face Z. "Just pretend like I never felt anything for her? Pretend that I never read that letter, forget the fact that she actually loved me back, after all those years of hoping? Am I supposed to just forget all about her?"

"No," Lucas replied with a slight tone of anger. "You're not supposed to forget all that, because to do so would be to erase all the good times. But instead of dwelling on what didn't happen, what should have happened, what _might_ have happened, you should get on with life, and remember that Josie wanted you to be happy."

Shaking his head, Vaughn sat back down and took a sip of his beer, his anger giving way to the torment inside. "I can't be happy with Josie gone. It's not possible," he said quietly.

"But you will," Corrine replied softly. "One day you will. It's too soon right now, but one day…"

Vaughn just shook his head in reply. He knew that they wouldn't understand how he felt. Sure, they were all upset and mourning, just like he was, but they didn't love her the same way he did. The same way he would always love her.

Silence fell over them again, a companionable silence. None of them were willing to speak, afraid that what they said would bring more pain. Finally however Vaughn couldn't take it any longer.

"I just can't believe this has happened. We only spoke a couple weeks back, and she sounded fine. She sounded normal… I don't get how she could just lie to us the way she did."

"What did she say?" Lucas asked, curious to know what Josie might have been thinking about just a few short weeks ago.

Vaughn sighed. "The usual small chatter. She rang me. We spoke for about an hour, making plans to see each other, to do something. She was telling me about how she'd left University for a short while, kind of like a Gap year, how she was planning on traveling. But… I guess that was a lie, she knew she was dying; she was trying to pretend everything was all right. I don't understand why."

"Because she didn't want you all to see her in pain and to remember her that way," a quiet voice came from the doorway.

Looking up, they saw Kelly standing there, watching them with glazed eyes. Z jumped to her feet and led her to the chair. She looked drained, as if it had taken everything she had just to get out of bed.

"What do you mean?" Corrine asked.

"I'm sure she mentioned it in her letters to you all," Kelly sighed. "But Josie didn't want the last memory you guys would have of her to be one of her sick and dying in bed, wasting away to nothing. She wanted you to remember her as she was before she was sick. Also she was afraid that if she let you in it would be harder for her to let go of you all, and it was already too hard for her anyway. I guess in a way she was being selfish, not allowing you to share the last six months of her life, and you can hold that against her if you like, but she was trying to save you all from more pain, and herself. And I let her do it."

Z patted her shoulder lightly. "It's okay Kelly, we understand. Don't talk if it's too hard."

"No," Kelly shook her head slightly. "It's hard, but you guys were her family just as much as I was, and you deserve to know what happened."

"So what did happen?" Marshal asked gently. "When did you find out that she had a brain tumor?"

"It was about six months ago. She'd been feeling pretty sick, and was dizzy, having a couple blackouts where she couldn't remember anything. She had a couple seizures, and in the end I forced her to go to a doctor. She didn't want to go, but she was beginning to get worse, so finally she consented."

She looked away from her rapt audience, her eyes glazing over in memory. Shaking her head slightly, she pushed away the feelings and continued. "She had some scans done, I can't remember what exactly, and they discovered the tumor. At first we had hope that it would be alright, that they could operate and she'd be fine. But the prognosis came back that it was inoperable, because of the location. We went to a couple of specialists, and had it confirmed. One said they could try, but there'd only be a 10 percent chance of survival, and we decided not to take the risk.

"She was given six months to live, and decided to drop out of school so that she could just live instead of doing something that she'd never finish. Jo…" she faltered slightly at her daughters' name, but took a deep breath before she went on. "Josie wanted everything to appear normal, so she took the recommended medication, stuff to help with the seizures and blackouts, to help with the tremors, to build her immune system up as her body failed, to help with the pain…"

"Was she in a lot of pain?" Vaughn asked quietly, unsure of whether he really wanted to know, but knowing it was too late to take back the question.

Kelly nodded. "She was in some pain, having an almost constant migraine, which gave her a bit of peaked look. Of course she was able to say that she had the flu and nobody questioned her."

"Like me," Z said a little bitterly, unable to believe that he hadn't pushed Josie further about being sick.

"Yea," Kelly whispered. "I'm really sorry about that. But Josie just couldn't face you with this, I think in a way she was afraid to appear as fallible before you guys, afraid to appear weak. You know Josie, she had to be the strong one, always tough and in control. I think she was just afraid to let you guys see how vulnerable she was. It's not that she didn't trust you, it's that she didn't trust herself not to go to pieces in front of you all."

"So when did she go in to the hospital?" Lucas asked next, unwilling to push Kelly but needing to know what Josie had gone through.

"She went into hospital, but because there was nothing they could do, they sent her to a hospice about a month ago, knowing that the end was near. She could barely walk, and she wasn't holding down any food. Her immune system was so weak that she was catching everything that went around, and overall she was just too weak to be able to do anything anymore. They took good care of her, making sure that she made friends with the other patients, keeping her medicated so she wasn't in too much pain. That's when she wrote you guys the letters, not knowing exactly how much time she had left.

"That's where she met Tracy, the young girl who spoke today at the… the funeral. As Tracy said, Josie wasn't depressed about dying… She did have her moments, but overall she tried to remain cheerful, since there were a lot of kids a lot worse off in there. Josie tried to smile as much as she could, in a way she was just happy for the time she had had here. But I know she hated the fact that she was dying, she didn't want to die, she just chose to act happy instead of depressed."

A lone tear made its way down Kelly's cheek as she remembered the last days of her daughters' life. "A week before she died, she finished the letters to you guys, with instructions that they be sent out after she died. She took weeks over those letters, writing them and rewriting them, afraid that they wouldn't be just perfect. In the end I had to remove the pens and paper because she was making herself sick over them. About two days before she died, she told me… She said… She said she loved me, and then she fell into a coma. She never woke up. The doctors say she wasn't in any pain when she passed away, that it would have been peaceful. I was there at the time, I never left her side, not until they… took her away."

Kelly's voice broke, and she stared down in to her lap, tears falling steadily. Z pulled her into his arms again, holding her tight against him, letting her know she wasn't alone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "but I haven't spoken to anyone about what happened in those last weeks until now."

"It's okay," he replied soothingly. "It's good to let it all out."

Corrine stood, and started to rub her back. "We're all here for you."

"I know you are," Kelly sniffled. "I know you would have been there for Josie if she'd let you be as well. I wish she had, she was lonely without you guys, but she felt it was wrong to drag you into it all. That it was her mess; that it was something she had to do, you know independent and stubborn she can… could… be."

Marshall smiled wryly. "We know. Boy do we know," he replied, remembering the many times that Josie had run off to do something that she shouldn't have, just because of her stubborn pride and independence. "Do you guys remember the time she went off in search of Pearadyne even though it meant lying to everyone? God she was obsessed with finding out the mystery of that place."

"But she did eventually solve it," Lucas reminded him. "If it hadn't been for her, we would never have gotten as far as we did. In fact, if it wasn't for Josie, we wouldn't have even known that we were dealing with a wormhole through space and time."

Kelly grinned. Although she hadn't known any of it at the time, after Josie had arrived back after being missing for a year, she'd been filled in on all the details.

"If it wasn't for Josie I don't think we would have gotten Corrine back from 1987. She was the only one daring enough to go through the wormhole," Marshall added.

"Which would have been a complete travesty, of course," Corrine said with an arched eyebrow.

"Of course," Marshall agreed with a sidelong glance at Lucas, who grinned back at him.

"And if it hadn't been for Josie, there's no way I'd be hanging out you guys, or have my mom back. I'd probably be dating Madison." Vaughn shuddered at the thought.

"If it weren't for Josie, there'd be a lot of things we wouldn't know right now, scientifically and personally, I think," Z said. "And yes Vaughn, you'd be right… Lot's of things would be different. I think we actually owe her a lot."

Everyone nodded in agreement, lost in their personal thoughts of what Josie had bought to their lives. It wasn't just the scientific stuff that they learnt because of Josie's stubbornness over the wormhole, and her continuing to travel through it despite being ordered otherwise. It was the little things, the friendships they'd all made with one other because she'd bought them together. Before hand there was no way any of them would have been friends with Vaughn, let alone a teacher.

For Vaughn there was the fact that his dad wasn't a bad guy, his mom was back, his parents were happy together, and they had a burgeoning company. There was also the sense of pride he now got from his father; his father now paid attention to him, and he was getting to know his mother.

For Corrine and Marshall they knew that they might not have gotten together if it weren't for the fact that Josie had pulled the science club together, and made it in to something fun instead of the boring lesson's it had been before. Of course that might have had something to do with Professor Z aswell, but Josie had been the one who'd taken them on their various adventures that had bought them closer.

Lucas had learnt to trust himself more, being proved right kind of had that effect. Also she'd taught him how to deal with rejection, not just in relationships, but in other aspects of life as well. And although it was something small, it was something he'd always be grateful for.

For Z it had been that not all kids were impossible to teach. Not that he'd ever thought so, but after working in the all girl's school where no one had wanted to learn his interest in teaching had begun to wane. Josie's enthusiasm had bought it all back to him; why he loved teaching so much.

After a few moments of silence, they all began to talk again, about school days, Josie, life in general. Now it seemed no longer like a wake, it seemed like a gathering of old friends, reminiscing about the old days. They would never forget Josie, forget that they were one member short, but soon the pain would fade, and things would fall back into the old easy way they had with each other.

_In just 1 hour they'll be laying flowers on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I need your blessing and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me_


	8. Epilogue: Vaughn

Epilogue – Vaughn

He stood at the edge of the grassy verge, looking out over the expansive lawns spread before him. Just down from him was Josie's grave. It was the first time he'd been there since the funeral. Unable to move forward, unwilling to move back, he just stood, watching, waiting.

Taking a deep breath, he steeled him for the inevitable and took a step forward. Getting his momentum, he crossed the lawn directly for Josie's grave.

Standing before it, he found himself holding back tears at the beautiful inscription and picture that had been put on her headstone.

"You're in the arms of the angels, may you find some comfort there"

Awkwardly he placed a bunch of flowers in the holder next to her headstone. "These are for you," he said, feeling weird about talking to a headstone. "I knew you liked sunflowers, so I grabbed these."

He sunk to the ground, and slowly reached out a hand to the headstone. Softly he touched it, then traced the words written there with his finger.

"I don't really know what to say… This is kinda new to me… Damn it." Scratching his head, he took in another deep breath. "I love you Josie. I always will… God, why did you have to die? Why couldn't I tell you this when you were alive? You should have told me you were dying Josie, I know I couldn't have done anything to save you but at least I could have been with you… I could have shared your pain. You don't just die and then tell someone you love them, it's really cruel!"

He punched the ground in a surge of anger, striking out at the pain he felt, and at the injustice of it all. "It's just… Isn't it better to have loved and lost then never have loved at all? You never gave me the chance to love you Josie, you should have said something… I should have said something." He sighed in defeat.

"There's so many things we should have done, so many 'what ifs' and 'if only's'. I shouldn't have been such a coward about telling you how I felt. If I had we could have been together years ago. I know you weren't ready when you came back after that year of being missing… Maybe if I'd plucked up my courage and spoken to you about it, maybe we could have discussed it. Instead I took it to mean that you wanted nothing to do with me. At least not romantically. But there's no point dwelling on all of that, now is there? You did what you did, and I did what I did. And that's all there is to it."

A few tears fell from his cheeks, but he didn't wipe them away. He knew they were healing tears. "I guess all I can do now is move forward. But you know I'll never forget you… You are my first love after all… I just wonder if you'll be my only love. I don't really know how I'll be able to go on, but go on I will, because I know it's what you want… or would have wanted at any rate. So I'll do it for you, because I love you Josie, I love you with all my heart and soul."

Standing slowly, he brushed the dirt from his pants, and laid a hand gently on the top of the tombstone. "I love you. Goodbye."

He turned and without looking back made his way back to the car. Slowly he drove out of the cemetery, leaving the love of his life behind.

Fin

And that's it. I really hope you enjoyed it, that you didn't cry too much :D I am in the works of a possible sequel, no promises... We'll see. Tahra xoxo


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